I hadn't slept in over 2 days, and I thought to myself, "I just want to go home."
Thank goodness I made it back alive.
Three Weeks Ago -
While most people were running about, freaking themselves out with finals, I was sitting at my computer,
trying to finish writing a movie I started over a year ago.
Still not finished, but it's getting better with ever revision.
The weekend before finals week was the most hectic: some diligently studying, some cramming,
others taking advantage of the no curfew during dead-week, and staying late in the 24hr halls,
claiming to just be "studying really late," when we all know a guy and a girl alone at night don't "study",
they're totally "cramming". (yep, this is what those "studious" girls are really doing.)
Myself, I was just sitting around, writing, nothing big. I thought I had no finals the following Monday,
"I'll just do my Design final Monday, and turn it in Tuesday morning at the final," I thought to myself, Sunday night.
Monday morning, I wake up to my phone ringing, it's 7:32am.
"Hello?" I say, with a perky "I'm-not-just-waking-up" tone of voice.
It's Halstyn, fellow filmmaker, fellow Design classmate. She says, "Michael? is the Design final right now!?"
My heart begins to race, "What!? Right now?" Halstyn says in a stern but frightened voice, "I think it's right now."
I feel like vomiting, I have nothing prepared.
Still in disbelief I tell her to check the times for the final. "Hold on, let me check," she says, still kinda frazzled.
Her voice calms a bit as she says, "Oh thank goodness, it's not right now." I breathe a sigh of relief.
"It's at 9:45."
My heart jumps to my throat. "IN TWO HOURS!" I shout at her, waking up my roommate. "CRAP!"
I hang up the phone and rush out of bed, still having absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
I need to find and print out templates for my packaging designs.
I need supplies.
The campus store doesn't open until 9am.
Fuck.
I run around campus looking for large sheets of paper. For some reason I end up swiping like, fifty napkins.
I go to my computer and try to calm myself, I'm just going to find some simple templates,
photoshop them to the dimensions, print them out, and wait for the store to open.
By the time I'm done printing it is 8:55. I run to the store, buy the paper, and run back. It's 9:10.
I have thirty-five minutes to do my Design project.
Four out of Five packages done, I'm half an hour late for class. I think I'll stop here and see what I can still get.
Frantically taping templates and cutting gigantic sheets of yellow paper seriously makes a huge-ass mess.
Leaving the room in such disarray is a big deal for a neat-freak like myself. Sacrifices had to be made.
I get to class to see others making their presentation. I see Halstyn sitting down, she looks over at me walking in.
I mouth the words, "Thank You" to her. If I hadn't gotten that call, I'd still be asleep. My alarm set for 11:30am.
Looking at my half-assed packages, I'm sweating in anxiety. The professor better not raise hell about this.
I'm called up to do my presentation. I whip up a short speech on simplicity, fast food, and edginess.
And I sit down.The professor comments on how well of a presentation it was. I nearly fainted.
The class ends, I walk out, treat Halstyn to lunch (even though I owe her way more), and go back to my room.
The first of four finals complete.
God Damn.
Needless to say, the rest of my finals are way more prepared for and go much smoother.
I worked tirelessly to get the done. By the time I finish my last final, I had been awake for over two days.
Studying, writing, packing up my stuff to take home, cleaning the dorm room.
Should I leave now? or get at least one nights sleep in before driving seven hours.
I heard the guys wanted to have a party before leaving. I didn't really feel like "party-ing" anymore. I'm spent.
So I drove home. Made it home, and passed out.
So a week later and what do I have to say about summer so far?
It's been great. In fact, I treated myself to a little celebratory present!
I bought myself a Tambourine!!
finally.
The summer so far has been pretty booked.
Hanging out with family and friends, going to the beach, concerts, went to a baseball game, hiking, and the et cetera.
Today has been one of the few days by myself. (so far)
So I decided to catch up on my life to my dear readers.
So if any of you guys want to hang out this summer, I'm totally free! Just call me up!
I will be returning next year to Pacific Union College,
much to the protest of certain people, and my subconscious.
Year Two will be much tamer. I will get my chit together with my studies.
I will avoid the parties. I plan to jam more. I will actually FILM SOMETHING.
Hopefully I will complete the several movies I currently have backed up.
I will use those to get a portfolio and reel put together.
And I will attempt to get out of here and to a good film school and find work.
Something just doesn't feel right about this plan though.
But every option and choice that has run through my head has yet to feel right.
Hopefully this is the right choice.
But personally, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.
If I hadn't let my personal life, and the personal life of others
get so fucking tangled in my career path and education path,
maybe I'd have an idea of what I'm doing.
But for the time being, I'll just be shooting in the dark.
We'll see what hits once the lights turn on.
Stay tuned,
Michael Castellanos!
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